For aspiring world conquerers everywhere

Since I’ve been thinking about whether to use formula or breastfeed like a cow, milk and the lives of cows have suddenly become more interesting.

Here’s a quick video about about How Milk is Made.

The motion-activated brush doesn’t look so bad. Also, apparently, separation from the herd (while being milked) causes anxiety. Oh my god, where is my herd? Nobody told me I needed a herd. #($*&#@*).

Yes, Virginia, there is such thing as an invisibility cloak. Or a Klingon cloaking device. Check this article out.

Thank you, Reddit, for highlighting this article.

Image credit: Lolcats cloaking device

More articles: Discovery & National Geographic

Growing up in the 2010s

Lately, I realized that the internet will be a large part of our child’s life. For one thing, if his father has anything to say about it, he’ll have a domain registered for his name as soon as we settle on it. Not to mention twitter and flickr accounts.

Personal blogs and online video make it possible for records of his life to be available to the public before he can talk. Not just basic info like address, age and names of family members, but his likes, dislikes, moods, music tastes, activities, personal photo collection and (for some) a record of his online purchases.

Is it Safe to Give Your Child an Online Presence?

Are parents concerned about internet privacy regarding their children, when millions of people can view their home videos? And here’s some unfounded paranoia to chew on - do you remember Red Dragon, when the psychopath uses home videos to scope out people’s lives and homes in order to break in and stick mirror glass in the eyes of their corpses?

This doesn’t even take into account your kids’ own posts, when they are old enough for MySpace profiles and Facebook stalkers. I like to believe in the basic goodness of the human race, but I also realize that the Amber Alert stickers in retail windows are not just there for decoration.

The More You Know

What about the things your child can read about? Sure, there are privacy settings for both incoming & outgoing information. But this is the internet. I’m fully expecting our child’s hacking abilities to surpass my husband’s ability to construct blocks at about 13, maybe sooner. In fact, I will probably be offended if he is not this precocious.

But, You Guys Do It

Then there’s the hypocrisy factor. Jon and I work on computers all day and then come home and interact online through Twitter or blogs or World of Warcraft for the next 6 hours. Granted, this will change somewhat when we have a baby. But we still spend a lot of our time online, for our day jobs, web design/consulting, and entertainment, so how fair is it to excessively restrict our son’s time online?

Parents, Any Advice?

What do other parents do about this? If you have a young child, what steps do you take to filter the influx of information, to share with an online community but not risk your family’s safety, and to prevent your child from being completely addicted to the internet?

I’ve heard there are blocks you can set up, and internet usage cards, but it IS the internet. Part of the fun of it is that you can find just about anything if you know how to look.

These issues are legit concerns for us, and for any other parent with computers in the house and a Comcast account. We realize that we might be more tech-oriented than some households, due to our backgrounds and preferences, but going from the numerous photos of children I see on Flickr, blogs, YouTube, etc., we’re not alone.

Parents, how do you handle this?

Here are some fun things that happened to Leanne in 2008

• I started working at a new job in January
• Jon and I moved out of an evil den of iniquity smelling of sulfur, pain and the slowly decomposing souls to a nice, quiet apartment in February
• Guide to World Domination was launched in May and social media got very interesting
• Jon and I started playing WoW again
• Baby Beast began gestating in August and after being nauseated for 4 1/2 months, I’ve learned to truly appreciate a functional digestive system

In 2009, I’d like to

• Give birth to a healthy baby boy (it is a boy, by the way, so this is a plausible wish)
• Find an affordable house in the New England area (this is not so plausible)
• Increase my army of elite fighting penguins and start training their polar bear compatriots
• Continue to post regularly and increase site traffic
• Meet some interesting people via social media and get to know them beyond the occasional tweet or post
• Bring my camera more places to build on my stash of incriminating dossiers
• Take over 3 or 4 small to mid-sized countries by Easter

What changes did you make in 2008? What would you like to do in 2009?

This is a T-shirt.

Heh heh heh.

Threadless.com, you’re so wrong, but I cannot help giggling anyway.

Everyone’s a little sugared out from the holidays. At my work, they’ve started bringing in leftover treats to share.

Now, I’m okay with this, because for me, there’s really no such thing as being sugared out. The whole point of having sugar is so you can get up enough energy to seek and consume MORE sugar. This is why the concept of Halloween is such a success.

Additionally, my baby book says that this week, I should start eating more fats. And even though they don’t exactly mean sugar-fats, they mean avocados and olive oil and nuts, this is a god-given opportunity to misunderstand.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) my child is already smarter than its mother. And its brain’s not even fully formed yet, which does not bode well for the teenage years.

It’s figured out how to manipulate my brain and stomach so I will crave these silly things called “fruits” or “vegetables.” Also, all sorts of meats, which is weird, because the only meat I’ve eaten for years is beef. (I’m a vegetarian with an incurable taste for cow.)

So, I decided to try to give in to these cravings, and eat better for the baby. I’ve been cooking normal people meals (i.e. casseroles and pastas instead of cereal) and making adorably balanced lunches with nuked deli meat sandwiches, fruit and goldfish crackers.

We did not account for the pile of sparkly bell cookies in the break room.

They have red sparkles, and they are shaped like cunning little bells (to quote Brittany from the cartoon Daria, “You can almost hear them riiiiinging!”).

I know they’ll probably just taste like gritty sugar cookie, but MAN do they look fun to eat. I need to find out if they ARE fun to eat.

Does this ever happen to you?

Image credit: Nafta foods

I’ve never liked the Alien movies.

Disregarding the 30 or 40 billion of you who are offended now, including Jon, let me explain why.

I read books and watch movies for escapism. I like to be totally immersed in another world, to the point where Jon knows he’s got to worry when I’m reading heavy material on pleasant topics like divorce, concentration camps, or growing up in severe poverty.

(By the way, this has only gotten more fun since the pregnancy hormones have kicked in.)

So, anyway, I don’t want to watch a movie where you’re in a constant state of suspense and are unsure that the main characters (who are pretty much your best friends now, because you’ve gotten an intimate portrait of their lives and souls and have learned to care about them in the last 60 minutes or so) will live or die. Or, have alien beings rupture their chest cavities as they claw their way out of their human incubation chambers.

But lately, I’ve started to relate to these movies.

Why?

Because, friends and neighbors, Baby Beast has started moving. It likes to hop up and down, and roll around on the left side of my stomach, and generally poke my bladder a whole lot. Instead of filling me with terror and fear, this is kind of nice, except for the bladder part.

And while I do share some of the negative anticipation (it’s got to come out eventually, and it’s not going to be pleasant, regardless of whether it’s an alien or a fetus) the pot of gold at the end of MY rainbow is significantly better than Executive Officer Kane’s.

To read about more interesting pregnancy experiences, check out The Sprout. Good luck, Sara & Abby, we’re rooting for you over here!

To whomever found my blog using the Google search “world dominion theme party.”

Who are you, and when is this party going to occur.

Chris Brogan is holding a marketing bootcamp event called “The Down and Dirty,” including practical instructions on how to set up a blog, optimize it, build links and create company profiles.

I’m amazed by this because it shows me the speed that people are learning about social media. Initial social media speaking events all seemed to revolve around interesting but more introductory topics like “What is LinkedIn?” and “The different types of social media sites.”

But now, we have the option to go to an event that will give us the tech side of registering your blog on Technorati or setting up WordPress. Comments on the post discussing the agenda for this event suggest also including advice on metrics, time management and integration with other social media platforms. When did we get so sophisticated? That’s pretty awesome.

I personally keep my tech guy chained up in my loft so he can handle this sort of thing when I get stuck. I don’t use actual chains, just a World of Warcraft account. It’s worked so far, but for those of you without this option (for some reason, companies have trouble providing MMORPG accounts for their employees), I’d suggest you check this out.

My only caution is to be aware of the events scheduled and the pace of the sessions. If you’re someone who is looking for a basic intro to social media, this might not be for you - do some research and find out before signing up. Likewise, if you’re an SEO expert or programmer, this might not be new enough for you.

For anyone in between, especially those of you at companies who are considering implementing social media into your marketing programs, give it a look. Now’s a good time to ask questions and suggest topics - good social media experts are pretty engaged with their communities, and, like Chris, often welcome feedback.

Since it’s $100 or so a month to rent a garage space at my apartment complex, we park our cars outside all year long. In the winter, this means the usual New England ice-scraping before work.

This morning, for the first time of the season, my car had about 3 inches of snow on it. I considered being grumpy about this, but discarded that idea, because grumpiness requires lots of energy to be done correctly, and I hadn’t had any coffee yet.

Instead, I let Jon get into the car. Usually I pull the “Oh, honey, I’m pregnant, snow will kill me” routine, which works, because who wants to be responsible for killing a pregnant lady because they are too lazy to do some minor task? But today, I gave him a break and started wiping off the car.

Don’t tell anyone, but this is actually pretty fun. As long as it’s not water-soaked snow that is cold and miserable, you essentially get to play with snow for 10 minutes. You’re not sitting in a freezing car waiting for it to warm up, and you get to throw stuff around without hurting anybody and therefore avoiding those inevitable assault charges.

Also, today I found my fuzzy red earmuffs, which meant my head didn’t hurt because of the cold AND looked pleasantly stylish and bright. There are few situations that earmuffs don’t improve, those being weddings and strip shows. Not only do they muffle sound, but they serve a function and keep your ears warm.

Plus, the snow was relatively light, with no ice coating the windows underneath, and very little actual effort was required. And, I didn’t step in any of those nasty hidden snow-covered puddles that go through to your socks. (I haven’t had winter boots for years, which is sad, but not life-threatening.)

The only negative to sweeping snow off your car in a crazed frenzy is that sometimes you end up wearing a lot of it and you don’t have time to change. This can be avoided by brisk hopping up and down and much flailing of arms, which only adds to the enjoyment of the experience. Don’t forget to do this, or you’ll be soggy all day and no one will like you.

Unless, however you have snazzy red earmuffs, in which case, you’re gold.